Engaging the culture and adapting to the ways of Modern Man are, we are told, the paramount objectives of the Church today (usually, it is the leaders of AmChurch telling us this). The Man-child must be powdered, swaddled, and sung lullabies by rotund clerics with guitars.
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How, then, may the Church adapt to the needs of Baby Huey?
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One modest suggestion: dispense green stamps in confessionals.
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You remember green stamps? They were given by stores to purchasing customers, collected by those customers in books, then "redeemed" [pun intended] for valuable household items. Green stamps were successful in the market place -- so why not in the confessional?
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GIVE PEOPLE A REASON TO CONFESS THEIR SINS!! A crock pot, a real wood chess set, a Hudson's Bay blanket, a collection of patio furniture!
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FELLAS: have your eyes been wandering a bit lately? Are you a tad, er, passive in the area of maintaining custody? Well, maybe we could energize your conscience with the prospect of God's forgiveness, and . . . a BRAND NEW 24V ELECTRIC DRILL!
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GALS: You'll be glad you tossed those birth control pills in the trash when you receive the gift of God's merciful forgiveness, and . . . a $50 GIFT CERTIFICATE TO LINENS 'N' THINGS!
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KIDS: You may not be sorry now that you turned Billy / Susie upside down and shook the lunch money out of his / her pocket, but you sure will be when you receive God's forgiveness, and A ROCKIN' SET OF POWER RANGERS ACTION FIGURES / A SASSY SET OF BRATZ ACTION FIGURES!
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Make Saturdays double-stamp days!
.
How, then, may the Church adapt to the needs of Baby Huey?
.
One modest suggestion: dispense green stamps in confessionals.
.
You remember green stamps? They were given by stores to purchasing customers, collected by those customers in books, then "redeemed" [pun intended] for valuable household items. Green stamps were successful in the market place -- so why not in the confessional?
.
GIVE PEOPLE A REASON TO CONFESS THEIR SINS!! A crock pot, a real wood chess set, a Hudson's Bay blanket, a collection of patio furniture!
.
FELLAS: have your eyes been wandering a bit lately? Are you a tad, er, passive in the area of maintaining custody? Well, maybe we could energize your conscience with the prospect of God's forgiveness, and . . . a BRAND NEW 24V ELECTRIC DRILL!
.
GALS: You'll be glad you tossed those birth control pills in the trash when you receive the gift of God's merciful forgiveness, and . . . a $50 GIFT CERTIFICATE TO LINENS 'N' THINGS!
.
KIDS: You may not be sorry now that you turned Billy / Susie upside down and shook the lunch money out of his / her pocket, but you sure will be when you receive God's forgiveness, and A ROCKIN' SET OF POWER RANGERS ACTION FIGURES / A SASSY SET OF BRATZ ACTION FIGURES!
.
Make Saturdays double-stamp days!
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Now that's ministry!
