A guest article by Joseph Bevan.
What is an alcoholic?
Oscar Wilde once said: ‘everything in moderation, including moderation!’ Now, just because I haven’t touched alcohol for 25 years doesn't mean that I am a puritan or a killjoy. In my drinking days I suppose I classed myself as a greedy drinker as the lure of the bottle occupied much of my time, and I was either consuming or planning to consume. I am not against alcohol at all and hope the visitors to my house can rely on being suitably refreshed. I belong to a society called the ‘Pioneers’ and it seems, judging from their annual magazine, that many of their members are Irish Catholic priests! Members of this group make a permanent or temporary promise to the Sacred Heart of Jesus to refrain from all alcoholic beverages so as to atone for the sins of drinkers. The truth is that many sins are alcohol fuelled. The other point made by the Pioneers is that most people who drink alcohol, drink far too much. In order to persevere with permanent or partial abstinence one is encouraged to repeat a daily prayer.
Here it is:
“For Thy greater glory and consolation,
O Sacred Heart of Jesus,
for thy sake to give good example,
to practice self-denial,
to make reparation to thee for the sins of intemperance,
and for the conversion of excessive drinkers,
I will abstain for life from all intoxicating drinks.”
There are various stages of alcoholism, the final one being the necessity to drink in order to function as a “normal” human being. This is sometimes referred to as ‘chronic alcoholism,’ and yet, in order to reach this level, one travels through all the lesser stages, often being able to stop at a certain level without completing the whole wretched descent into chemical addiction.
I am no expert on alcohol addiction and so all I am able to do is report that which I have seen with my own eyes. There is a common error amongst certain analysts, and this is the assertion that alcoholism is a disease, like influenza, and has nothing to do with free will. Certainly, if one becomes a real addict, it does become a disease. However, during the descent into chronic alcoholism there will have been positive choices to continue to drink to excess. What starts as free choice then ends up beyond one’s control and it does indeed become a disease.
Whilst one still has freedom of choice – whether to carry on drinking or to stop – the Pioneer Association is of invaluable help. I do not believe, however, that the Association can be of much use to a person who has become chemically dependent on alcohol.
Alcoholics Anonymous
If a drunk has any insight left, then he should try Alcoholics Anonymous. I once accompanied a friend to an AA meeting. This was a bit naughty, really, as it is not allowed, so I had to pose as an alcoholic myself and I passed with flying colours! Two things struck me about the group as we sat on creaky chairs, shivering in a church hall and rolling countless cigarettes: they mostly seemed to be professional people with above-average intelligence; and the other thing was their acceptance of the supernatural. I am sorry to say that very few alcoholics make it as far as AA, and there is a high failure rate amongst those who do. The sad fact is that most alcoholics die young.
The supernatural ingredient which is part of the AA approach is not ‘Catholic’ but more non-denominational, which is a pity because it is likely that a truly Catholic organisation run on the same lines might have more success. This is because the non-denominational approach relies on inner feelings rather than revealed truth.
As I listened to some of those present at the meeting tell their tales of woe: broken marriages, lost jobs, illness and bankruptcy, I was struck by their acknowledgement of the magnitude of the problems they faced. Self-realisation and insight are vital elements in an attempted recovery. They all reported on how they made several attempts to stop drinking, none of them were under any illusions about the dangers they faced, particularly the self-deception that they could one day go back to drinking ‘normally.’ They all knew that they had to stop, once and for all and forever.
Binge drinking
Binge drinking is probably the most common form of alcohol abuse in our society and certainly a dangerous threat to our institutions, especially the family. I have witnessed firsthand how, thanks to excessive drinking, what starts out as a perfectly happy event, such as a dinner party, can end up as a bitter shouting match. As a non-drinker and present at such meals, I notice how the standard of conversation deteriorates as the evening progresses, and more booze is taken on board by the other guests. As time passes it is harder to get any sense out of anyone, which is not a problem until someone starts an argument. From that moment on, the other guests often resort to acrimony, necessitating my departure. One of the disadvantages of being a non-drinker is that one has to be careful about where and with whom one socialises. When people become drunk, or even tipsy, they are usually very boring indeed.
In my youth I had the misfortune to work as a barman in our local village pub. For hour after hour, I would have to suffer the drivelling of semi-drunk men as they laid out their clichéd philosophies of life. Many customers would come into the bar on a daily basis and loiter with their friends as they knocked back glass after glass. I would hear them yarning together and often wondered what they could possibly have left to say to each other. My mother once warned me about what she termed ‘the pub culture.’ This is where, she warned, many things are said which are simply better left unsaid. This idle chat in the lounge bar was not without its consequences, being the birthplace of vicious rumours, often quite untrue, about such-and-such a person who was up to no good. The subject of marital infidelity was frequently the topic of conversations, and these false stories circulated around the village.
There is another thing about heavy drinkers which I have noticed, and that is the necessity for them to keep regular company with other people who are their social inferiors. This may sound a bit snobbish but watching such people from my vantage point behind the bar, I could see the local solicitors and accountants, rubbing shoulders with the local farmhands who are cider alcoholics. And the reason they are doing this? It is purely their common addiction to alcohol. As this was a pub in the heart of rural Somerset, I often wondered about the language difficulties which these people must have endured, the farm labourers speaking their local indecipherable dialect, trying to communicate with the local professionals.
Overall, one of the greatest dangers of spending hours in a pub is that not everyone is a raconteur. Many people sit in embarrassed silence waiting for someone to speak. It is then only a matter of time before someone opens a conversation which may be ill-judged and, before they know it, scandalous gossip is the order of the day. I have also noticed how it is that, in pub conversations, it is regarded as bad form to praise or even say something complimentary about someone who is not present; no, what they want to hear is character assassination, which helps the beer slip down.
Alcoholism in the family
The greatest tragedy which can befall a closely knit family, even a Catholic one, is when one of its members, mum or dad, or one of the children, becomes addicted to alcohol. By ‘addiction,’ I refer to secretive and excessive drinking, beyond the gaze of the rest of the family. What follows is based, partly upon personal experience, but also on reliable testimony which I have taken some trouble to acquire from friends and family.
The first point to recognise is that the alcoholic becomes expertly manipulative to such an extent that none of his or her family members can be absolutely certain that there is a problem of alcoholism in their midst. They manage this by concealing the drinking habit from any suspicious eyes and making an effort to be cheerful and charming. This is especially true if he or she has been on a ‘bender’ the previous evening and has been seen to be returning from a session of solitary drinking armed with a clinking carrier bag, then disappearing up to their bedroom and taking care to lock the door. In this way, the alcoholic can keep the rest of his family in a state of uncertainty and, not wishing to confront the issue, pretend that it does not exist.
This approach is very common indeed amongst families. Many alcoholics, in their desire to manipulate, rarely allow themselves to be really drunk in front of the family. In many cases, if they turn up to family occasions, such as an evening meal, they may well be at least ‘half-cut’, yet not to such an extent as to convince everyone present that they have over-indulged. If they are drunk in public, all that may happen is a quizzical look exchanged between the other family members. When the tipsy family member is offered a glass of wine with the meal, he or she refuses with a firm shake of the head. That is often enough to divert attention from his or her condition and reassure the rest of the family that there isn’t really a problem.
Even, as often happens, the alcoholic has disgraced himself or herself in front of the family, leaving the relations in no doubt as to the problem, he or she will bounce downstairs somewhat late the following morning and pretend that nothing has happened. Upon seeing this, the rest of the family reassure themselves that things aren’t really that bad and forget the previous evening. After all, the alcoholic is being so charming and helpful that it would be tremendously bad form to remind him or her of the drunken and insulting behaviour the night before. If it happens that one or two other family members think there may be a serious problem with the alcoholic member, and give voice to their concerns, it is likely that others will hotly defend this person and accuse the complainer of being malicious. The alcoholic knows instinctively that if the family is quarrelling about him or her, then that will deflect attention from the real issue.
Causes of alcoholism
Every alcoholic has to make a deliberate decision to drink too much at the very start of the process. Even when the condition is chronic and like a disease, one can track back into the distant past and locate a series of events where the alcoholic freely and deliberately determines to over-indulge. There is no doubt that this propensity to drink can be caused by a number of factors outside the control of the victim, such as a history of alcoholism in the family, mental illness, financial problems and relationship breakdown. But I boldly suggest, nobody is forced to drink too much, ever! Even when a ‘quick drink after work’ degenerates into a habit which ends up causing family breakup, the alcoholic always makes a deliberate decision to drink more and more. I’m afraid that at the root of these problems is unchecked selfishness and an inability to see oneself as others see us — a kind of self-obsession.
And the answer?
I am not qualified to go into an analysis of the causes of alcoholism in any detail. However, when the situation is inflicted on families, I can speak with a modicum of knowledge. Alcoholism in families is definitely on the rise, and especially amongst young children, when they fall into bad company outside the home. The ‘secret garden’ mentality very much applies here and is often created by the underlying need for love and attention from the parents. This love, which has to be demonstrative, is frequently lacking because parents are so wrapped up in their own affairs that they are unable to show their children the affection which is necessary and theirs by right. As a result of this, the offspring, perhaps one or two, will retreat into his or her own private world of illicit behaviour – including drinking to excess.
Although we know that alcoholism is frequently the result of family breakup, it is often the cause as well. An unstable family, where mum and dad fail to recognise the need for the supernatural building blocks of this institution, ends up with lovelessness and self-seeking by its members. After all, the family is an institution created by God and must be maintained in submission to God’s ordinances. If there is genuine love of its creator and genuine love between the members, there is little that can go wrong, despite any hardships which inevitably arise along the way.
A happy Catholic family will have a healthy attitude towards the demon drink and will gain much benefit from it. To finish with the immortal verse of Hilaire Belloc:
Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine,
There’s always laughter and good red wine.
At least I’ve always found it so.
Benedicamus Domino!
Joseph Bevan has published Two Families: A Memoir of English Life During and After the Council (Os Justi Press, 2024), and Traddy Daddy: Memories and Thoughts of the Father of a Catholic Family (Os Just Press, 2025), available either from the publisher or at any Amazon site.
Alcoholics Anonymous
If a drunk has any insight left, then he should try Alcoholics Anonymous. I once accompanied a friend to an AA meeting. This was a bit naughty, really, as it is not allowed, so I had to pose as an alcoholic myself and I passed with flying colours! Two things struck me about the group as we sat on creaky chairs, shivering in a church hall and rolling countless cigarettes: they mostly seemed to be professional people with above-average intelligence; and the other thing was their acceptance of the supernatural. I am sorry to say that very few alcoholics make it as far as AA, and there is a high failure rate amongst those who do. The sad fact is that most alcoholics die young.
The supernatural ingredient which is part of the AA approach is not ‘Catholic’ but more non-denominational, which is a pity because it is likely that a truly Catholic organisation run on the same lines might have more success. This is because the non-denominational approach relies on inner feelings rather than revealed truth.
As I listened to some of those present at the meeting tell their tales of woe: broken marriages, lost jobs, illness and bankruptcy, I was struck by their acknowledgement of the magnitude of the problems they faced. Self-realisation and insight are vital elements in an attempted recovery. They all reported on how they made several attempts to stop drinking, none of them were under any illusions about the dangers they faced, particularly the self-deception that they could one day go back to drinking ‘normally.’ They all knew that they had to stop, once and for all and forever.
Binge drinking
Binge drinking is probably the most common form of alcohol abuse in our society and certainly a dangerous threat to our institutions, especially the family. I have witnessed firsthand how, thanks to excessive drinking, what starts out as a perfectly happy event, such as a dinner party, can end up as a bitter shouting match. As a non-drinker and present at such meals, I notice how the standard of conversation deteriorates as the evening progresses, and more booze is taken on board by the other guests. As time passes it is harder to get any sense out of anyone, which is not a problem until someone starts an argument. From that moment on, the other guests often resort to acrimony, necessitating my departure. One of the disadvantages of being a non-drinker is that one has to be careful about where and with whom one socialises. When people become drunk, or even tipsy, they are usually very boring indeed.
In my youth I had the misfortune to work as a barman in our local village pub. For hour after hour, I would have to suffer the drivelling of semi-drunk men as they laid out their clichéd philosophies of life. Many customers would come into the bar on a daily basis and loiter with their friends as they knocked back glass after glass. I would hear them yarning together and often wondered what they could possibly have left to say to each other. My mother once warned me about what she termed ‘the pub culture.’ This is where, she warned, many things are said which are simply better left unsaid. This idle chat in the lounge bar was not without its consequences, being the birthplace of vicious rumours, often quite untrue, about such-and-such a person who was up to no good. The subject of marital infidelity was frequently the topic of conversations, and these false stories circulated around the village.
There is another thing about heavy drinkers which I have noticed, and that is the necessity for them to keep regular company with other people who are their social inferiors. This may sound a bit snobbish but watching such people from my vantage point behind the bar, I could see the local solicitors and accountants, rubbing shoulders with the local farmhands who are cider alcoholics. And the reason they are doing this? It is purely their common addiction to alcohol. As this was a pub in the heart of rural Somerset, I often wondered about the language difficulties which these people must have endured, the farm labourers speaking their local indecipherable dialect, trying to communicate with the local professionals.
Overall, one of the greatest dangers of spending hours in a pub is that not everyone is a raconteur. Many people sit in embarrassed silence waiting for someone to speak. It is then only a matter of time before someone opens a conversation which may be ill-judged and, before they know it, scandalous gossip is the order of the day. I have also noticed how it is that, in pub conversations, it is regarded as bad form to praise or even say something complimentary about someone who is not present; no, what they want to hear is character assassination, which helps the beer slip down.
Alcoholism in the family
The greatest tragedy which can befall a closely knit family, even a Catholic one, is when one of its members, mum or dad, or one of the children, becomes addicted to alcohol. By ‘addiction,’ I refer to secretive and excessive drinking, beyond the gaze of the rest of the family. What follows is based, partly upon personal experience, but also on reliable testimony which I have taken some trouble to acquire from friends and family.
The first point to recognise is that the alcoholic becomes expertly manipulative to such an extent that none of his or her family members can be absolutely certain that there is a problem of alcoholism in their midst. They manage this by concealing the drinking habit from any suspicious eyes and making an effort to be cheerful and charming. This is especially true if he or she has been on a ‘bender’ the previous evening and has been seen to be returning from a session of solitary drinking armed with a clinking carrier bag, then disappearing up to their bedroom and taking care to lock the door. In this way, the alcoholic can keep the rest of his family in a state of uncertainty and, not wishing to confront the issue, pretend that it does not exist.
This approach is very common indeed amongst families. Many alcoholics, in their desire to manipulate, rarely allow themselves to be really drunk in front of the family. In many cases, if they turn up to family occasions, such as an evening meal, they may well be at least ‘half-cut’, yet not to such an extent as to convince everyone present that they have over-indulged. If they are drunk in public, all that may happen is a quizzical look exchanged between the other family members. When the tipsy family member is offered a glass of wine with the meal, he or she refuses with a firm shake of the head. That is often enough to divert attention from his or her condition and reassure the rest of the family that there isn’t really a problem.
Even, as often happens, the alcoholic has disgraced himself or herself in front of the family, leaving the relations in no doubt as to the problem, he or she will bounce downstairs somewhat late the following morning and pretend that nothing has happened. Upon seeing this, the rest of the family reassure themselves that things aren’t really that bad and forget the previous evening. After all, the alcoholic is being so charming and helpful that it would be tremendously bad form to remind him or her of the drunken and insulting behaviour the night before. If it happens that one or two other family members think there may be a serious problem with the alcoholic member, and give voice to their concerns, it is likely that others will hotly defend this person and accuse the complainer of being malicious. The alcoholic knows instinctively that if the family is quarrelling about him or her, then that will deflect attention from the real issue.
Causes of alcoholism
Every alcoholic has to make a deliberate decision to drink too much at the very start of the process. Even when the condition is chronic and like a disease, one can track back into the distant past and locate a series of events where the alcoholic freely and deliberately determines to over-indulge. There is no doubt that this propensity to drink can be caused by a number of factors outside the control of the victim, such as a history of alcoholism in the family, mental illness, financial problems and relationship breakdown. But I boldly suggest, nobody is forced to drink too much, ever! Even when a ‘quick drink after work’ degenerates into a habit which ends up causing family breakup, the alcoholic always makes a deliberate decision to drink more and more. I’m afraid that at the root of these problems is unchecked selfishness and an inability to see oneself as others see us — a kind of self-obsession.
And the answer?
I am not qualified to go into an analysis of the causes of alcoholism in any detail. However, when the situation is inflicted on families, I can speak with a modicum of knowledge. Alcoholism in families is definitely on the rise, and especially amongst young children, when they fall into bad company outside the home. The ‘secret garden’ mentality very much applies here and is often created by the underlying need for love and attention from the parents. This love, which has to be demonstrative, is frequently lacking because parents are so wrapped up in their own affairs that they are unable to show their children the affection which is necessary and theirs by right. As a result of this, the offspring, perhaps one or two, will retreat into his or her own private world of illicit behaviour – including drinking to excess.
Although we know that alcoholism is frequently the result of family breakup, it is often the cause as well. An unstable family, where mum and dad fail to recognise the need for the supernatural building blocks of this institution, ends up with lovelessness and self-seeking by its members. After all, the family is an institution created by God and must be maintained in submission to God’s ordinances. If there is genuine love of its creator and genuine love between the members, there is little that can go wrong, despite any hardships which inevitably arise along the way.
A happy Catholic family will have a healthy attitude towards the demon drink and will gain much benefit from it. To finish with the immortal verse of Hilaire Belloc:
Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine,
There’s always laughter and good red wine.
At least I’ve always found it so.
Benedicamus Domino!
Joseph Bevan
March 2026
Joseph Bevan has published Two Families: A Memoir of English Life During and After the Council (Os Justi Press, 2024), and Traddy Daddy: Memories and Thoughts of the Father of a Catholic Family (Os Just Press, 2025), available either from the publisher or at any Amazon site.
