Rorate Caeli

Heart in pain


I hear the familiar sound of a car rolling down the street, and I look out the window hoping that it will be her car, that she is coming by for a visit.

It is hard to believe this will never be the case again.

I miss you, Mother...

36 comments:

David said...

I'm so sorry, New Catholic.

My own mum died suddenly 4 years ago and it was the rawest pain I have ever known.

Prayers for you and dearest mother.

David Brower,
Glasgow

Scott Ramsay said...

May she rest in peace. I will pray a Hail Mary for her, one for you, and one for her kith and kin.

-- My Deepest Condolences,

Scott Thomas Ramsay

La Crosse, WI, USA

Tradical said...

New Catholic,

The wound never fully heals, but it does become easier to bear with the passage of years.

God Bless!

Dan Hunter said...

Its so hard.

Deo volente said...

I am so sorry to learn that your Mother has died. I offer you my deepest condolences!

V.: Requiem aeternam dona ei, Domine.
R.: Et lux perpetua luceat ei.
V.: Requiescat in pace.
R.: Amen.
V.: Anima ejus et animae omnium fidelium defunctorum per misericordiam Dei requiescant in pace.
R.: Amen.

jg said...

When my mother died, three years ago, I found much comfort in the Confessions of St Augustine
specifically the section on the death of his mother St Monica. Know that your mother and you are in my prayers and Masses. Unfortunately the wound does not heal, only Faith can truly console

RipK said...

We all stand next to you, your extended family!

When you get lonely, remember:
IN PARADISUM....

http://youtu.be/WPLBvZ4rCFw

Concerned Catholics said...

Dear New Catholic,

Please accept our deepest condolences on the loss of your dear mother. Words cannot express our sympathy for you.

Thank you for all you have done all these years to be such a light to us, a light that continues to shine even in the midst of such hardship and suffering.

God bless you always, and thank you for your goodness and leadership.

May your dear mother rest in peace.

Sincerely,
Rob Collorafi

New Catholic said...

Thank you all for your kindness, and to Adfero for the earlier post, and all who responded there also. Bear with me in the upcoming months as I sometimes post, ex abrupto, as the French at times say, things like this.

servusmariaen said...

I offer my small condolences New Catholic at the passing of your dear mother. I have not crossed that bridge yet. Therefore, I cannot fully comprehend the sorrow and pain. I know however that though you miss her now, you are consoled in that she has seen the face of GOD. Draw nearer to Our Lady. She will be your solace. My prayers go out for the repose of her soul.

http://triregnum.blogspot.com/

7fbc6254-eb65-11e2-85d7-000bcdcb471e said...

Requiescat in pace!!

All our heartfelt prayers and condolences at this time, NC. Only The Lord can soothe such a pain. Please believe me, we know. :...(

Matt

Dymphna said...

I'm so sorry! For the longest time after my father died the worst thing the world was to wake up and realize yet again that his death hadn't just been a really bad dream. I'll pray for you in addition to my prayers for the repose of your mother's soul.

The Byzantine Papist said...

My mother passed two and a half years ago. Moments like that are especially hard. Prayers for you and you all.

Romano said...

New Catholic,

May yours mother's soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, Requiescat in Pace. Amen.

Thank you for Rorate Caeli. It has saved me from wasting much time on the web doing useless things, and worse. It is always my point of entry and exit.

Dio Ti Benedica. Romano Dave.

Long-Skirts said...

I have no doubt that your mother will be with Our Lady and Our Lord because of your great faith!!

Resistência Católica said...

My Deepest Condolences.

Requiescat in pace!

Giulia d'Amore

Angelo said...

New Catholic, I give you my condolences on the passing of your Mother. I lost my Brother in 2003, the pain is still there but he received the Last Rites of the Church. I must remain in the state of Grace because it guarantees that I will see and be with him again. Keep your Traditional Catholic Faith and you will be with your Mom again. 100% guaranteed by our God and Savior Jesus Christ. This is the consolation given to us by Christ and his Church. Always remember that though your Mom's body has fallen asleep, she lives, whether in Heaven or in Purgatory. Pray to her, she can hear you and pray for you, this is the Doctrine of the Communion of Saints.

Linda Zentner said...

Beloved New Catholic,
Know and take comfort in that your love was surely the greatest joy your dear mother could know. Deepest condolences and prayers around the clock. Peace be to you.

Tony fro Oz said...

Dear NC,

Your post was poignant for me and recalls an aspect of what it felt for me, too, for quite some time after the death of my own dear mother - and still even occasionally now. It was such a hollow feeling, and Saturdays were especially bad as she used to call by or phone so regularly on weekends.

It is the gnawing, hollow sense of absence which is so painful - quite apart from the faith we may have. It is a part of our humanity - the obverse of joys remembered without which there can be no sorrow - and the rawness will recede with time and with God's help.

May her soul rest in Christ, and may Our Lady of Sorrows comfort you in your grief.

Unknown said...

NC,

Your next visit with your dear mother will be eternal, full of joy that you cannot imagine, surrounded by the most intimate loved ones that you have, so far, only met in books.

look forward to that day, and keep trying to increase the number of those who will share the eternal reunion of you, your mother, and the church triumphant.

Alan

Truth Will Out said...

I am in tears, too. I miss my mom and never stop thinking of her everyday. The wound will never close - and that's as it should be. But know that it gets a little bit easier to bear with time. It's only been almost 3 months for me, and so much more recently for you. A friend has told me she says a Hail Mary every time her mother comes to mind - she lost her mom over 20 years ago - found that to help a bit. Including you and your dear beloved mother in my prayers. God bless you, New Catholic.

John Fisher said...

Lord Jesus Christ, King of Glory, deliver the souls of all the faithful departed from the pains of hell and the bottomless pit. Deliver them from the jaw of the lion, do not let Tartarus swallow them nor let them fall into darkness, but let the holy standard bearer, lead them into holy light as thou didst promise to Abraham and his seed.

jagribbin said...

Tomorrow I will offer Mass for the repose of your mother's soul and will pray that God will console you and your family at this time.

Bailey Walker said...

I have remembered your mother in my evening De Profundis since reading the news of her death. Requiescat in pace.

My own dear mother, Katherine, fortified with the sacraments of Holy Church,died on December 16, 2011 at the age of 90. Although she hadn't driven for many years, when the telephone rings I still hope it might be her calling for one of our chats.

God bless you and may our Blessed Mother wrap you in Her Mantle and keep you close to Her Immaculate Heart.

im-blogger said...

Dear New Catholic!

When words fail me seeing you in such pain, all I can do is turn to Heaven and pray for her eternal rest, and your well being. Be strong, offer it up, we're all there for you.

God bless you!
I.M. - the Netherlands

Kathleen said...

You have my heartfelt sympathy, NC.

My mother's death, over twenty years ago, was a very hard one, and I did not handle it well at all.

My suffering was compounded because I was fallen away from the Faith at that time.

I believe Holy Mother Church in her wisdom provides a gift of immeasurable worth for her grieving children in giving them something of tremendous value that they can do for their loved ones after their death.

It is with shame that I admit that I neglected those things for long years before my return to the Church and that I now am trying to make up for much.

But, also, looking back, it would have been a tremendous consolation to me to have been able to do something concrete for my mother -- pray, have Masses said, etc, as it would have been the answer to that overwhelming feeling of helplessness.

I pray you are able to find some consolation in the knowledge that you are doing good for your Mother. That you can still express your love for her through acts that will bring her great consolation.

And I would like to thank you for allowing us to pray for you. It is a kindness for you to allow us to do something for you, and please know you and your mother are in my prayers.

Jeremiah Methuselah said...

Losing someone deeply loved is almost unbearable. It may be a consolation to see it as God’s way of reminding us we are mortal, we are His creatures and He decides when He wants us to be with Him.

On the practical side, there’s a good chance music will console, some of the time. All sorts of music can be balm for the soul. Although a Lutheran, J S Bach dedicated all his works to Almighty God, I think it was with the motto of the Jesuits, AMDG, ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.

Michael Ortiz said...


Heading out to my parish Church soon, and will remember you and your mother before Our Lord.

lugifan77 said...

New Catholic,

I am sorry to hear of your great loss. Perhaps you will find some consolation in these words written by Mgr. Bougaud (19th century, I think). I know that our family found them very comforting when my young sister died quite suddenly aged only 28 years back in 2000. The pain never does go away, but words like these certainly soothe it greatly.

Comfort for Those Who Mourn

'The great and sad mistake of many people, among them even pious
persons, is to imagine that those whom death has taken, leave us.
They do not leave us. They remain! - Where are they? In darkness?
Oh, no! It is we who are in darkness. We do not see them, but they see us. Their eyes, radiant with glory are fixed upon our eyes full of tears. Oh, infinite consolation! Though invisible to us, our dear dead are not absent.

I have often reflected upon the surest comfort for those who mourn.
It is this: A firm faith in the real and continual presence of our loved ones; it is the clear and penetrating conviction that death has not destroyed them nor carried them away. They are not even absent, but living near to us, transfigured: having lost in their glorious change no delicacy of their souls, no tenderness of their hearts, nor especial preference in their affections; on the contrary, having in depth and
fervour of devotion grown larger a hundredfold. Death is, for the good, a transformation into light, into power, into love. Those who on earth were only ordinary Christians, become perfect; those who were beautiful become good; those who were good become sublime.
-Mgr. Bougaud.'

Robert Salazar said...

New Catholic,

I know that sometimes words are inadequate at moments like these. Just wanted to let you know how sorry I am to hear about the passing of your mother and that both of you will be in my prayers.

Edward said...

I can feel your pain in your words, I pray you two will reunite together again! Eternal rest grant unto her!

Gregory DiPippo said...

Dear New Catholic,

The first year is horrendous, but then things really do get easier. May God bless and comfort you.

saintanthonylostandfound said...

I was cleaning out things from my recently deceased father's house just today - it sinks in deeper that he is gone, things won't be the same again. I was so lucky to have him.

poeta said...

NC: You have reminded me of what C.S. Lewis wrote about his mother's death, how he and his brother longed to hear her footsteps outside their room again at night. For now, I can only imagine.

Requiem.

fxr2 said...

My Family's daily rosary and the St.Gertrude Prayer for the repose of her soul!

fxr2

excalibur said...

My mother passed away Easter Sunday morning 2006. I know how you feel, what you are going through. I still miss her, but believe she is with Our Lord. That is true consolation.

My sincere condolences and prayers for you.

Don