Rorate Caeli

The Apple Cake

Some out-of-season apples not in a very good condition, but perfect for baking. I have the fruit, flour, demerara sugar, butter, eggs, milk, cinnamon... Everything is here. 

But she isn't. 

How she loved baking! And baking for others, not for herself. Separating, measuring, buttering, flouring, beating, folding, tasting, pouring, checking the oven, setting the timer, waiting with expectation, seeing if it's done, removing, cooling, setting it on the plate - setting them on the plates, the several cakes, for the husband, and the children, and the grandchildren, and the visitors, and as gifts, always several at a time. Will I ever be able to see an apple cake again and not weep?

I look at the apples once again. Yes, they are perfect for baking. But they will have to wait.


Roger Buck said...

I am so sorry New Catholic.

And I pray for you and her.

Your love is so real and love, real love, is stronger than death ...

Magdalene said...

And I know I will never make a pot roast like my mom could. Miss her every day. 4 years since she entered into eternity and then my dad died unexpectedly 33 days later. What a shock. The grief diminishes but the memories never do.

Ann said...

I will never be the cook--or baker--that my mother was. But I try...

God bless you, New Catholic. I will continue to keep you and your mother in my prayers.

Dan Hunter said...

God bless you, kind sir.

Gerry Davila said...

Praying, praying.

Eventually you will look at an apple cake and smile.

Alan Aversa said...

Requiescat in pace.

Long-Skirts said...


Money doesn't
Grow on a tree
But peaches, pears
And apples are free

The love of money
Has an evil root
The love of God
Has roots that fruit

Without their money
Their faith might rot
No matter how prepared
Or how well they plot

For safety in money
AND God they say -
Will keep them dry
On a rainy day

But the farmer who plants
God's precious seed
In TRUE Catholic fields
Daily Mass with the Creed

Will gain an orchard
Bloom Catholicity --
Where peaches, pears
And apples are free

I pray that your dear Mother's soul is in the Apple Orchards of Heaven!

Mom in the Shoe said...

May apple cake once again someday bring a smile to your face as you relish beautiful memories.

I'm reminded of St. John Bosco and his mother...

Prof. Basto said...

My deepest sympathy, NC.

May your mother' soul rest in Him Who is the Prince of Peace, and our Hope.

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes: and death shall be no more, nor mourning, nor crying, nor sorrow shall be any more, for the former things are passed away".

Liam Ronan said...

Hang in there New Catholic. I remember you and your Mother in my daily prayers and will continue to do so.
I'll wager you that heaven if filled with the warm sweet scent of apples and cinnamon and that your Mother awaits you there to embrace you after the struggle and battles to be fought for Our Lord.
My younger sister died of an aggressive form of pancreatic cancer last September. It was a terrible shock and has grieved my family greatly.
While our hearts still ache we have reached a point where we can smile (and even laugh) at some of our fond remembrances of her.
We have Masses frequently said for her at my parents parish where the TLM is the only form of Mass offered.
Hang in there and God embrace you and your Mom.

Michael Ortiz said...

50 years ago today, my maternal grandmother died, quite suddenly.

She never went to college. She was devoted to Our Lady. 500 people attended her funeral Mass.

I know my mother still misses her, but I am quite, quite sure that the many graces that have come to my family have come at her intercession.

"Blessed are those who mourn..."

Liam Ronan said...

Just one last reassurance, New Catholic.
You remember, don't you, the various passages in the New Testament where after His Resurrection Jesus Himself consumed, if not prepared, meals with his apostles/disciples?
John Chapter 21:13 springs to mind but there are other references.
In any event, if that is the way of it with our resurrected bodies then without a doubt there will be some of your Mom's warm apple cake waiting for you one day to share with her.

Diane C said...

Bless your heart. The beauty of having loved someone... is the memories. It takes time but know that the ache will get easier and the memories, even more precious.

Allan Wafkowski said...

A mother of many tears surely lived a good life. Eternal rest grant to her...

Crouchback said...

For others...not for her self...

Slightly off topic, looking at the picture of the Carthusians at the top of the page....could some one put a post on the heroic Anne Cresacre More, daughter in law of St Thomas More and her death in the Low Countries....with the Carthusians around her bed calling her to heaven....maybe no all thatboff topic.

Lee B said...

Lets keep the families in Egypt and Syria and the mothers and children there that are being murdered for being Christians, in our prayers and storm heaven for a rescue on earth and in heaven for all those souls. New Catholic, I hope you are feeling better, your mother is home where she is meant to be.

Pablo the Mexican said...

Your Mommy went before Our Divine Master, and before He judged her, she handed Him a bouquet of roses.

"These are for Your Mommy"

The rose were all the acts of Charity your Mommys son has done in service to Our Lady and her Son.

May your Mommy rest in peace.


Mom in the Shoe said...

New Catholic, just thought I'd let you know that your mother has helped to influence another Mom. Your mention of demarara sugar made me wonder just what that was, so I looked it up. When I can manage it, I'm going to buy some. I've been thinking over trying to get rid of the refined white sugar. Folks, look it up on the Internet if you don't know what it is. Sort of like brown sugar, only unrefined.